When You Have Wronged...

We all go through the ups and downs of life and the most of us, on average, come out just good...
Majority of us have done 'something' wrong in past...

'something' that intermittently keeps pushing the guilt button ON and we, after a brief moment of resulting-bitterness, constantly keep pushing it OFF...

'something' that we are not so proud of...
'something' that makes the grey  shade of ours one shade darker...

'something' about which we keep mumbling to ourselves "That's it! NEVER AGAIN.." and simultaneously pretending as if it never ever happened at all altogether....or at least, wish  that it never had happened...

'something' that we so desperately WANNA UNDO... but unfortunately we can't...!

'something' for which we often find ourselves knelt down to the almighty, praying for wisdom so that we don't have to bear the same shame and pain again...

It's very important NOT TO DEMEAN ourselves by unnecessary guilts... guilts indicate that at least our "Superego" (the 'angel''; our moral guide, inside us!) is still alive... which is really a good sign..! The Superego judges our deeds mainly based on our 'self-image', moral values and social norms... whenever there is a discrepancy at any level the guilt button is turned On...

The intensity of guilt thus generated, depends on the sphere in which the discrepancy has occurred! Although it varies from individual to individual, discrepancy in 'self-image sphere' usually contributes maximally to guilt...! 

So, the highly you think of yourself... chances are, you are going to feel the deeper guilt if you do something wrong... but the bright side of the story is- the probability of wrong-doing by you, at the same time, is decreased proportionately too... which means you will probably do what you think is RIGHT THING to do most of the time..!! 

The "Id" (the 'devil''; our basic instincts, inside us) on the other hand, is responsible for our survival and pleasure... FOOD, FIGHT or FLIGHT, REPRODUCE (sex)...!!

If Superego is the 'Breaks' of a Ferrari... Id indeed is the 'gas paddle'...! It's main function is to put your survival as the utmost priority..! Left on its own, it will lead you to a path that will do all that is, at least, bodily good..! Majority of Lower animals, specially those, which don't live in herd... are guided by Id only...! 

Since, We human beings live in a highly sophisticated and equally complex social structure and hence all the time, subconsciously though, there is some sort of conflict going on between the 'angel' and the 'devil' inside us...!

In fact, it's the wrong handling of these inner conflicts by 'Ego' (the 'Middle Man' between the 'Devil' and the 'Angel') that are at the base of majority of pervasive psychiatric illnesses, if not all...!

So, in the nutshell how you handle these conflicts in your life decides how mentally healthy you are gonna be..!

Hence, my dear don't whine too much about what wrong you have done or how many times you have wronged... if you are brave enough to acknowledge it and determined enough not to repeat it again... it's okay! For we all know...To err is only human...!!

Having said this, I don't mean that you should forget what you have done...

My suggestion would be: always Apologise to the one whom you have wronged but apologise only IF YOU REALLY MEAN IT...!! 

And, don't expect forgiveness at that very instant... even if you meant every single word of your apology... because you are in no position even to have the slightest of idea about how deep actually their wounds go or how ugly their scars look...
May be your apology is accepted or may be not... in fact, you might face humiliation altogether... but it's still okay... it's still better than having not apologised at all... 

Trust me, what ever be their reaction, if yours apology was a sincere one, you will find your head and heart at peace once again...

Dr. Virat Kuntalam

@viraat_k (twitter)
(+91)9990-22-7677

(The Photographs used here, have been freely downloaded from google and author doesn't claim or has any copyright of them!)

First Love...

First Love...❤❤

First love is blinding and deafening...!

just like that Flash Bomb of SWAT team which fills you and everything around you with light so bright that darkness of any sort seems like an impossibility...and it rings a bell so loud in ur ears that all noises fade except for that one tone...

And if u are among the lucky few, you remain brightly-blinded and deaf for all the tones except for the one...for rest of the lifetime...but if not... well...then, you get the second sight..and u no longer remain deaf... but the thing is the green earth no longer seem that green afterwards..the colours fade, the flowering spring suddenly changes to a leafless autumn and that too not even with a slightest hint of the warmth of the summer or the patterings of the showering rains... music too are not that melodious as it once happened to be...rather it gets damn noisy and you in fact become tone deaf! Tone deaf, to that particular tone which once used to rang in ur ears all the time...24x7! :p :D

So, here is what I suggest... if you happen to be one ignorant 'blind and deaf' fellow...don't screw it up buddy... Chances are, you're not gonna like the sight or the sound once what you have right now is all gone..! So, Cherish it, Protect it...and for your own good Work on it...!

And don't forget...❤❤ Being someone’s first love is good, but being their last is beyond perfect...icing on the cake!! ❤❤

Take care.

Be deaf and blinded for ever...! ❤  :-)  ❤

Virat.

Follow me on Twitter

+91-999-022-7677

Let's save our arse...FIRST!!

It's a sad day. Black Day. We have failed... as a nation, as a society or for that matter...as an individual...

A girl is brutally raped...gang raped...ravaged...and dumped...to die... and she did die! and what did our government do? NOTHING..!! Except to oppress the awakening...!! What a shame.!!!

This whole incident has shown that apathy and selfishness has no nadir...at least in this govt... basically  our 'dear' govt. is currently on "LET'S SAVE OUR A** FIRST!" mission... coz:

1. That's why they first flew the girl out of the country to Singapore...sighting reasons of small bowel transplant... well, at least there are 40 diff hospitals here which are equally good, if not better than Mount Elizabeth Hospital, singapore...

2. This happened the night after Safdarjung Hospital in its Media release stated that 'she' is critical and has developed sepsis... I mean come on yaar... how can you go for transplant if patient is in sepsis...and critically ill!! You don't need to be a Venugopalan or Trehan to know that... and this clearly indicates motive behind transfer was anything BUT MEDICAL !!! (Rumor is, IB has info that if girl dies here in India...that could be outrageous and situation may become difficult to control.)

3. Not only this... then there are likes of Mr. Mukharjee Junior and similar hypocrites who issues statements like

"its the clothes of gal that is the cause of these incidents..." 

"Protests with candle in hand has become fashion" 

"they go to disco at night and to protests in morning.."

that's the kind of mentality we have sent in that 'multi-pillared circus', if I may say so, to represent us...well then, shame on us as well...!

4. the first response of govt. after the death of the victim was not a condolence msg or any assurance or pledge to bring the involved ones to speedy justice...BUT... what they did ...CLOSED THE METRO STATIONS... DEPLOYED 45 UNITS of para military forces...NOT for the protection of Women in the capital... BUT to protect their big fat f**king a**es....!! 

had you have shown even half the sincerity or the effort in ensuring security of your fellow citizens...you would not have to be on your toes saving your arses...in fact people might have kissed your f**king a**es...!! NO kidding..!

Well, jus t a gentle reminder that Mr. Govt. You have only done one thing... made our belief stronger that we can trust you NO MORE... you have only fuelled the anger of WE THE PEOPLE... and if you still don't realise it...ask Mrs. Sheila Dixit..!

Today you can barricade us, force us away from showing our emotions, our pain to you... I promise you tomorrow we may barricade you away when you come begging to our doorsteps for votes...

Today you prevent us from gathering at India Gate...tomorrow we might not gather there when you need such a gathering...

It feels very shameful to believe that we belong to a society which appears to have no humanity left... to be in country whose people's soul, empathy, compassion probably have died... It's becoming even harder to believe that this is the nation which believes in motto of "Vasudhaiv kutumbakam" "atithi devo bhav.." ... how can it be... if it can't respect/protect its own citizens... children...girls...women...!!

I remember, I used to get goose-bumps whenever I heard our national anthem... I still get those goose-bumps... and I want to get those goose-bumps in future as well... I want to be a Proud Indian... who can hold his head high... and can proudly say "I am Indian!"

So, let's all pledge together that 'her' sacrifice will not go in vain... that we will stand for her until justice is served...that will not stand any such incident of whatever magnitude anywhere near us... that we will not let humanity die...and that we are still empathetic, compassionate and caring... that we are a true Indian both at heart and deeds...!! 

Virat.

@viraat_k (twitter.com)

Prayers do get Answered...!

"We pray daily, sometimes quietly and other times aloud... We pray for our near and dear ones' health, direction and salvation in their times of distress and pain. But it's not always that things happen the way we want them to happen...

Despite our prayers, tragedies do happen with all of us! What does this mean? Didn't God hear our prayer or didn't He understand how much it hurt us? Does it mean that we stop praying and give up on God?

NO. Prayer will be more vital now than it was earlier. God's desire to hear from us is still alive. Faith is not demanding of what we want; but is rather trusting God's Goodness in spite of life's tragedies...!

We grieve, we pray and we keep on praying. We should understand that God has His own ways and plans, which is much more supreme. When he takes away something from us, He wants us to have something better...

So, keep on praying and have faith in his supremeness because he will surely answer one day. He will help us wait patiently and to trust Him for His good perfect answer. We know that in the pain and struggle of living without answer, we may find comfort in our Heavenly Father... Something beyond the tears, pain and loss; there is hope where there is praying...!"
Take care...!

PS:  (I read it a few days ago in some news paper and found it soothing and felt like sharing it with you people..)

Virat Kuntalam,

999-022-7677

The Anna Aandhi...

The Anna Aandhi...

Though I don't firmly concur with the ways in which this movement is going on, (by saying this, I am fully aware that most of you reading my blog would have labelled me as "devil's advocate"! Let me clarify right in the beginning only- I AM NOT PLAYING DEVIL's ADVOCATE here... I just have a DIFFERENT OPINION...!), still it's really heartwarming to see people coming out to support Anna on this noble cause. The magnitude of mass movement which has started in past few days is enormous... I just hope it's not just the 'Soda bottle fizz' which fades away in short duration...

The Indian system- Part II

The Indian System- Part II


My schooling is from Nainital, Uttaranchal. And I did my graduation from Shimla, Himachal.. and before that few years of PMT preparation at Delhi... So what I want to convey is I, for most of the time of my life so far, have been away from my home...which is a small town, Forbesganj, in North Bihar, near Indo-Nepalese border.

Keeping the Child alive in YOU...!

"Why small kids usually succeed?

How babies learn first to stand, then to walk and ultimately to run...?"

Well, why am I asking all these today?

An Idea can Change You!

Actually, it had been quite some time since I wrote rather I would say I even visited my blog site... and deep down I was feeling compelled to write some thing... but to write you need ideas and ideas don't come easily... :-(

                So, I was sitting in OPD... day before yesterday (i.e. one day before Holi) and hence it was a relatively lighter day... I was looking out through the window in the waiting hall... thinking what should I write about... and I saw an infant in the common waiting hall of my department and Dept. of Ophthalmology... she (or may be he!) was 11-12 months old...

Lets Recycle...!!

The shock-waves of failure in 1st two encounters of the year have settled now and after amply consoling and motivating myself with words like "Take few step back to leap further.."etc. I was finally back on track with my studies!

But somehow yesterday, I was not able to concentrate on my studies... so to utilise the time, I finally decided to make my messy room bit tidy... Just like every other bachelor's room where the largest chunk of 'mess' comes from the thrown away clothes, missing pairs of dirty socks & of course the boxers and 'chaddies', and dirty plates & coffee-mugs beneath the bed...in fact the only thing which can be found exactly at it's usual place is deodrants and perfumes...! ;-) And Mine too was no exception

NDM 1: New Delhi Metallo-Beta-Lactamase-1

NDM 1 or New Delhi Metallo-beta-Lactamase 1, is a Plasmid mediated gene which confers high degree of antibiotic resistance in bacteria which carries this gene, particularly against Penicillin group, Cephalosporins, Fluoroquinolones and Cabapeneme Group of antibiotics! And thus is a potential threat to the entire health care delivery system!

A parting Note from a Friend....

My dear friends,

            “How time flies by!” We had only heard about it so far... but, a few months back when we left each other after almost 6 years of love and togetherness we actually came to realize the true meaning of the phrase...

Are we still EVOLVING??

I think YES! We are still evolving!!

But then it's NOT in the purest Darwinian form- The Survival of the Fittest!

WE are indeed transferring our genes of better qualities and efficiency to the future generations but, as opposed to what would have been the Natural Selection in true sense, not losing the genes for weaknesses or traits usually are detrimental for our survival!

Living up to the Expectations....

Living Up to the Expectation… The story of My life...

Before I went to boarding school in Nainital in class sixth… ours was a joint family and for providing best possible education, my parents and I used to live in a small town called Forbesganj in Bihar... and so did my 8 cousins! The city was named after the Britisher Alexander John Forbes, a Military adventurer who later on established many indigo-farms in the nearby areas! 

What alienated me from my Buddy?

I thought of writing this particular post about a year ago when I went to my village soon after my MBBS final prof. exams! But as the result was out... I got busy with the paper works initially and later with hectic, busy and tiring but learning Rotatory Internship Program at IGMC, Shimla and this thought of writing blog was lost somewhere in my brain... And today while waiting to get myself registered @ MCI I fortuitously remembered it while thinking about my friends back there at IGMC and the future ahead...

So, here it is...  

I once had a very good friend...

It's a New Day...

7:45am: My alarm, as usual was ringing incessantly and I, like every other day, as my daily chore, hit the snooze button and rapidly passed from stage II of my sleep (to which the alarm has brought me into!) to stage IV… The clock, as a loyal servant, ignoring my battering, again resumed its duty of bringing me back from stage IV of my sleep to alert state with prominent beta wave emitting form my brain in another 15 min… but got the same treatment from me again…

I AM NOT GONNA SAY GOOD BYE....

"Yeah and its over before you know it,

It all goes by so fast...

Yeah the bad nights takes forever,

And the good nights don't ever seem to last...."

It was Monday... the 13th day of Sep. 2004 when I joined this college as a first year MBBS student. I was almost one and half month late from most of my batch-mates who had already joined this institution in the month of August.

My happiness was soaring high... not only because I had accomplished the long cherished dream of wearing a white coat but also because the most fierce period of ragging was almost over by then...(truly speaking the later one had contributed more to my happiness) And today when I am just few days away from bidding adieu to my alma mater- Indira Gandhi Medical College and Hospital, Shimla,

जी ले खुलके इस पल को...

एक दिन जिंदगी ऐसे मुकाम पर पहुँच जायेगी..

यारी-दोस्ती सिर्फ gtalk तक रह जाएगी..

हर cup coffee की, याद canteen की दिलाएगी ...

और हँसते-हँसते फिर आँखें नम हो जाएँगी...

Office के chamber मे Labs नज़र आएँगी...

पर चाह कर भी proxy नहीं लग पायेगी...

पैसा तो होगा, मगर TREATs की वो वजह खो जाएगी शायद...

जी ले खुलके इस पल को मेरे दोस्त...
क्यूँ कि ज़िन्दगी  इन  लम्हों  को  फिर  से  नहीं  दोहराएगी....!


विराट 

Why I enjoy my Internship?

Why I Enjoy My Internship?

For the last few days I have been quite busy. In the previous week I had to take AIIMS PGMEEE at New Delhi. Soon after my return, I had 4 back to back emergency duties! Well, that all is over now, and I have now been resetting my biological clock back to normal (from nocturnal to diurnal!), meaning thereby I had ample of free time in last couple of days! So, while I was whiling away in last few days, I went through my 10 months’ journey so far, its highs and lows, as an Intern- and without any doubt I can tell I have enjoyed it! That’s why blog is titled “Why I enjoy My Internship?”

My Profession!

In west, by west I usually mean US, they say "Pursuing a career in Medicine, you have to give it your Life-time!" And I used to wonder,"is it so?"

I am standing at the end of, what is often labeled as the 'Golden-Period' of life, my six year long College life! Within less than two months from now I will be gone from here and I am not sure if I will ever have the opportunity again to come back here at my proud alma mater- Indira Gandhi Medical College, Shimla which has made me whatever I'm today!

It has given me a lot but still I feel so inadequate in my abilities that it's sometime difficult to imagine that in a few months' time I'll be shouldering great responsibilities like saving people's lives!! Now I realize that it's not just the saying "...it takes your life-time..."

The Indian System...

No matter how advanced or modern we become, no matter how inadvertently we may follow the west... but there is something in Indian family value system, in our culture... which always remains alive in one form or the other... no matter what the circumstances are...

Just today I witnessed one such example while enjoying my tea in the Hospital canteen. I was sitting on the far left corner of the canteen and diagonally opposite to me towards my left hand side, near the 'aqua guard' one of the Registrar from Dept. of Psychiatry was sitting with 4-5 relatives from his native place. Guessing from their age they appeared to be his mother/aunt and uncles...The Registrar in question had a really bad cold, sore throat and was persistently coughing which was a typical "Brassy-harrasy" type cough...

The Essence of Medical Profession!

What does it mean to be in this profession?

       The year I got selected, some 275 thousand students appeared for the exam and approximately 2,500 got what they aspired for! Less than 1% of total!! 

              That by default makes us the ‘chosen few’ for the job. This also means that we have been chosen as individuals who can be trusted upon with other people’s lives. This is definitely a great honour and thus we can be proud of our achievements so far. But we should also remember that this privilege also brings with it immense responsibilities- to patients, to society and above all to humanity. 
Let me elaborate what I mean by it:

         Before entering the World of Medicine whatever we did, we were doing it with ‘us’ at the centre. We watched movies, cricket matches, listened to music, roamed on mall, played games, read books, novels, slept, worked-out, partied etc all because we felt like it and it was fun doing all. Our all interactions with this world were solely about ourselves.

           But now things have changed. Everything that shapes us now will somehow be affecting our patients in future. So the way we treat our life is no longer just about us. Whatever we do, we think, we add to our clinical skills will affect the people we treat. We miss one lecture or practical or a procedure and we might be jeopardising someone’s life later on! May be I am exaggerating too much but still it implies that from now on at every crossroad that we come across in life, we have the responsibility to make the positive and right choice for ourselves so that we can be the best physician/ surgeon for our patients!

              Entering this medical field has ushered us into the world of understanding human body and the limit to which it can be pushed... which we do realize during 30 hour long night duties when we try hard to remain a ‘human’ but on a really long night shift, we tend become more like a “programmed bio-mechanical individual” working automatically based on algorithms, following the protocols and guidelines rather than a calm sensible doctor with the ‘human-touch’ which the patient expects us to be...!! 

            So, it’s easy to get trapped in this world of medicine... but yet along with all these chaos, we do meet interesting colleagues, mentors and friends... who make this interesting journey of ours little more exciting and fun... So, Let's not forget to ENJOY! After all, beside a doctor, we are all human beings with certain needs and so are our patients! :-)

Virat Kuntalam
IGMC, Shimla