Living Up to the Expectation… The story of My life...
Before I went to boarding school in Nainital in class sixth… ours was a joint family and for providing best possible education, my parents and I used to live in a small town called Forbesganj in Bihar... and so did my 8 cousins! The city was named after the Britisher Alexander John Forbes, a Military adventurer who later on established many indigo-farms in the nearby areas! My two uncles (Taau Jees, we lovingly call them 'Bade-Papa' here in Bihar), used to live in village which was 9 km from the town and used to look after the agriculture in our ancestral land... Having shared my childhood with my cousins, I had learnt quite early the importance of sharing things and helping each other in the time of need… but still, I was just a small little kid... I was the second youngest amongst the kids (only my brother Kunal being younger than me).
I can say it for sure that it was since that very period of my life I have been trying to live up to the expectations of people who mattered in my life… even in my pre-school days, for the shake of 'good manners' I was expected to behave as a good kid… I was expected not to quarrel with the kids of our guests who often come to our house… I was expected to do ‘Namaste’, talk politely and not to look/(rush) for gifts like sweets or biscuits or chocolates which guests used to bring… and even if they (guests) would give it to me I was expected to share it with all my cousin… what if the little heard of mine didn't want to share it... when I started going to school, there was expectation of good marks… expectations of coming first in class and when I did come first come in class then there was expectation of consistency…
Well, all through the childhood I have lived up to the expectations… I never had time to think if I was happy doing that… people who were related to me used to get happy whenever I performed well and used to praise me and on some lucky occasions I would get rare gift as well… and I used to get gratification from all those things…
One of the biggest problem of being a good student rather I would say well-known student in college is you have to do what you seriously don't want to do and that is "to live up to the expectations…" nearly whole college knows you and they have expectations of you… I regard myself as an average student… average in studies… average in sports… average in extra curricular activities… but I don’t know why everyone else thinks differently… and as a result I had to keep doing what I have been doing since childhood… Living up to the Expectations! And many a times I have questioned myself if these expectations have held me back or they have helped me perform well?? But, I've so far always failed to decide if it is a curse or a boon...
Recently, I realized this fact when I met few of my teachers whom I admired the most… Our MBBS course was three months late… things that should have ended by March 31st finally ended by June 21st… and so our batch as whole was not eligible for the All India PGMEEE… but we were eligible for two of the most prestigious exams in India… AIIMS and PGI Chandigarh… which requires lots of hard studies… and as an Intern at IGMC Shimla that’s one thing you find it hard to do for you have lots and loads of work to do… (I don’t mean that it doesn't help! It does help, but not for PGMEEEs…) so as you would have guessed I was not selected in any of the two exams in which I appeared… (but it was a great learning experience, I must say!) but teachers had different expectations of me... and few days ago few of them did mention it! "Virat, it seems you wasted your time in all the 'unnecessary things' and ignored studies!" I realized what they meant by 'unnecessary' things (Magazine Work/Slide show etc...)!
It really felt bad... not because they said it! but because of the fact that, I failed on their expectations this time... I was sad but at the same time nostalgic as well because people whom I respect from the core of my heart were also worried about ME! 
Well truly speaking, I didn't regret my non-selection. Why? Because I had not prepared well enough for it! Had I been selected, it would certainly have been premature for me... Neither I regret the time I spent in publication of the magazine and college calender... because it was an experience of the life-time... I enjoyed what I did... And I enjoyed every bit of it... I don't know if you have experienced it or not, but whenever you get compliments like "Best ever" or "Effort was visible in your work" it's so satisfying and quenching... can't explain it in words... So I don't at all consider that time as wasted one...Yes, I indeed will be heart-wrecked if I fail to crack the PG entrance this time as well...
And that means the curse of 'Living up to the Expectations...' is not going to end soon for me...
Dr. Virat Kuntalam
39th Batch, IGMC
Shimla.
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