What alienated me from my Buddy?

I thought of writing this particular post about a year ago when I went to my village soon after my MBBS final prof. exams! But as the result was out... I got busy with the paper works initially and later with hectic, busy and tiring but learning Rotatory Internship Program at IGMC, Shimla and this thought of writing blog was lost somewhere in my brain... And today while waiting to get myself registered @ MCI I fortuitously remembered it while thinking about my friends back there at IGMC and the future ahead...

So, here it is...  

I once had a very good friend...
in my Native village... Sukhi, PO-Sirsia, PS- Forbesganj, Distt.- Araria, Bihar! (nearly 380 km from the capital city of Bihar!)

We were of similar age in fact, to be exact I guess, I was 3 months older than him... or it was other way round...don't remember exactly now...We were closest of all, so close that even my younger brother Kunal used to envy us... and we used to wander all over together.. whether it be scary bamboo-bushes or sneaking into Lichi Orchard and stealing Lichi... or diving from the bridge in the small irrigation canal that passed from west of our village.. The irrigation canal originates from river Kosi- Once  known as sorrow of Bihar! (in fact, still known by the same name, despite being tamed with Bhimnagar Dam built nearly 50 years ago) or burning skins in scorching-summer-sun, We used to do all sorts of mischiefs... and we were literally the true examples of the phrase "Pain in the a**" but of course for other people...!! For each other, we were like Jai and Veru of Sholay... :-) but certainly not always.. there were times when we used to fight like Gabbar and Veeru as well... holding each others hair and pulling it with all our strength, shouting, crying but just few moments later we would walk with our hands around each others neck... whispering in ears of other planning new mischiefs...  WE had wonderful childhood... and we enjoyed it like anything... We were the typical true friends... no mercy when it comes to competition or rivalry and at the same time immense care too, when one was in need....

I used to live in nearby small town Forbesganj on NH 57- near Indo-Nepal border nearly 9 km away from my native village and so do 8 other cousins of mine, as ours was a joint family then... The main purpose of not living in the village was to provide better primary education to us as kids...! And we were getting the best possible thing that our family could afford with the limited income of Agriculture which always used to be in constant threat of ill-omen of Sorrow of Bihar- Kosi!! I think, that's why the famous Hindi writer Phanishwar Nath Renu, a resident of Aurahi Hingna (a village nearby my village and now known as Renu Gram after his name!) called it "DAYAN KOSI" which means "Kosi- The Witch"... Later like most Indian family our family too became nuclear one!

And then it so happened that My parents decided that I should go to a boarding school for further studies... It was a difficult time for me but deep down I was excited, after all I was going to Nainital- City of serene Mountains and beautiful lakes... truly speaking It didn't bother me at all that my best pals are going to be left behind... So, I left and never looked back ever since... I used to come in vacations but usually had very less time to visit village and whenever I visited, it wasn’t for long enough time to interact with old pals...and rejuvenate the old bonds! Also, probably I had this arrogance that now I am above than them! 

Fortunately, After my final prof and result declaration I actually got some quality time to spend in village again... I remembered the old moments while walking through different places... and I met my old friend... I was glad to see him...! He now helps his father in agriculture...

But, I realized that somehow the old spark amongst us was missing... I can see the excitement in his eyes too...but the twinkle was more of respect than that of renewed bond of friendship... he was already married but had become father of 6 month old daughter.... I spend some time with him... had tea.... talked about past years... but he replied mostly in "Yes" or "No"… the characteristic argue, which we used to have so often when we were kids was missing... and all the time I had the strange feeling of some 'distance' among us... as if some wall was drawn between our hearts... I was unable to understand whether it was due to the long time-interval or was due to my higher education... and I, all of a sudden remembered a short story- "Gilli-Danda"  which I had read long time ago in my school days, by the famous Hindi novelist Munshi Premchand, where he portrayed a similar picture in such a nice way... 

The author ends the story with these thoughts...

"मैं अब उसका लिहाज पा सकता हूँ, अदब पा सकता हूँ, साहचर्य नहीं पा सकता। लड़कपन था, तब मैं उसका समकक्ष था। यह पद पाकर अब मैं केवल उसकी दया योग्य हूँ। वह मुझे अपना जोड़ नहीं समझता। वह बड़ा हो गया है, मैं छोटा हो गया हूँ।" 

("Now I can get his consideration, get his respect but not his fellowship. When we were in childhood, I was his rival. Now having got this position, I am only eligible for his kindness. He no more considers me his rival. He has grown big and I have become small.")

My thoughts too, were resonating with the author's... I thought, "Was it my education that alienated me from once my buddy??"

I guess its the difference in the level of education, the difference in intellect and difference in our needs, responsibilities and social perspective that has created this divide...

I don't know how to fill this trench amongst us... but I do wish that our relationship becomes like older days…

I don't know if anyone of you have experienced anything similar... Do share your thoughts! 

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Carl Jung

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